


that's my line

by lunaslovelies



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M, a lil bit of fluff, kind of angsty tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 06:11:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15701448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunaslovelies/pseuds/lunaslovelies
Summary: in which Neil takes an early morning run to escape his thoughts, Andrew comes along, & some minor soul searching and realizations occur.





	that's my line

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: “Where do you think you’re going?” -soprompt.tumblr.com/  
> setting: takes place in late TRK/early TKM where Neil shares a dorm with the other underclassmen.  
>   
> —w/ a lil fancy editing help from [@klanceft](archiveofourown.org/users/klanceft) !! <3

"Where do you think you're going?" a voice asked from the darkness. Neil jumped. He'd been so engulfed in his thoughts and frantic to leave that he hadn't noticed Andrew stirring behind him. Squinting through the early morning gloom, Neil could just barely make out Andrew peering back at him from the top of their bunk bed. The man's eyes were filled with exhaustion, the kind that could only come from a late Columbian night, but he still managed to peer at Neil curiously, his question left hanging in the air between them.

"Uh... Running?" Neil replied tentatively. He wasn't sure if Andrew would be awake enough to accompany him like he always did, considering that the underclassmen had stayed out drowning their sorrows in drinks until 3am. But despite his obvious fatigue, the man sighed and rolled over to put on his armbands. Andrew laid still for another minute, so still that Neil assumed he had fallen asleep again; but then he rose and climbed down the ladder. He didn't need to question why Neil wanted to run so early.

"I hate you," Andrew groaned, stretching and yawning. "It's one-hundred and ten percent now."

"Hey, I never said you had to come with me." Neil replied, raising his eyebrows. Andrew didn't seem to have anything to say in response. Instead, he started rummaging around for his jacket and keys, so Neil finished knotting his laces and stood up. Once Andrew gathered his things, the two of them exited the dorm room as silently as they could, closing the door with a soft _click._ They started walking down the dimly-lit hallway.

"So how do you expect to keep up with me while I'm running, in your current state?" Neil asked. "No offense," he added, grinning. The look Andrew shot him told Neil that he had definitely taken offense.

"I'll drive."

"Riiiight. Because that won't look creepy." Andrew again didn't reply. Instead, he tried, and failed, to rub the sleep out of his eyes. "You shouldn't even be driving; you're too tired... And hungover," Neil pestered him as they walked down the stairs. He pulled his phone out and glanced at the time. _6:17am._ "Three hours of sleep isn't enough for you."

"I'll be fine. I _am_ fine."

"That's my line," Neil frowned. He thought Andrew looked very decidedly _un-fine,_ but decided to let it go. He knew he couldn't convince Andrew to take care of himself when he obviously didn't want to. The pair walked in silence until they reached the car. Andrew opened the door and slid into the front seat.

"I'll catch up with you eventually," Andrew said. The long yawn that followed his words suggested otherwise, but he still jammed his key into the ignition. "I just need a minute. You go ahead," Andrew said, waving his hand in a shooing motion.

And so Neil did. He eased into it with a slow jog and worked his way up to a sprint. He ran past the Fox Tower, past the court, and across the campus border. He ran to escape his own mind. For a short time, it worked. For a peaceful, blissful, second, Neil forgot about the constant torment of his life. Instead, he focused only on the steady thud of his shoes hitting the pavement and the reassuring rumble of Andrew's car behind him.

But then the moment was over. The thoughts came back, this time more violent than before. He saw his father cutting a man into a million pieces and ran faster, trying to escape his thoughts again. He thought of his mother's body in a burning car and ran even faster. He thought of all the power and money the Moriyamas had, and what they could do to him for the stunt he had pulled on Kathy's show. _Faster._ He thought about how lonely this identity was. _Faster._ No one knew the truth about Neil, not even Andrew. _Faster._ The person the Foxes thought they knew wasn't real. _Faster._ He was living a lie. _Faster._ Neil Josten was only a made up character. He had no one. He never would. _Faster. Faster. Faster._

As hard as he tried, this was the one thought that Neil couldn't outrun. Neil was alone. Completely and utterly alone. Not even his footsteps or the low hum of Andrew's engine could reassure him this time.

Realizing there was no point in trying to outrun his thoughts anymore, Neil rounded a corner to a local coffee shop. It was a quaint, secluded place, but its supposed charm only added to Neil's feeling of loneliness. As he approached, he paid no attention to its run-down brick walls and mismatched stools. Instead, Neil watched people of the early-morning crowd sitting at tables and chatting amicably, and he felt a small pang of jealousy. _No._ Neil told himself. _I can't think about this now._ The whole point of this run was to escape his thoughts, not to expand on them. He pushed through the glass doors and stepped into the short line, desperately skimming the menu to distract himself. 

The bell tinkled quietly behind him, signalling Andrew's arrival. By now, Andrew had recovered at least enough energy to look bored as he entered the line behind Neil. As Andrew surveyed the coffee shop, silently judging it and scanning for possible threats, Neil watched him. Looking for anything to focus his thoughts on, he decided to think about Andrew.

Neil supposed he was glad to have Andrew. Maybe no one knew the truth about who "Neil Josten" really was, but Andrew was the one who came the closest. He didn't know absolutely everything there was to know about Neil, but he knew about Neil's father. And he knew at least part of his history with the Moriyamas. As far as Neil could tell, Andrew was still here, with him. Even when Andrew was hungover, he was by Neil's side. Even when he was running on only three hours of sleep. Even if he had to wake up at 6 in the morning. Andrew was here for Neil no matter what. He wasn't scared away by Neil's violent past. If anything, knowing more about Neil only seemed to make Andrew more protective.

So maybe Neil wasn't as alone as he'd originally thought. Sure, he had a past that he couldn't reveal, and secrets that would always remain secrets, but he also had someone who knew more about him than anyone else. He finally had something solid in his life. Someone that he could depend on and lean on. After his mom died, Neil had to be constantly on alert. He never trusted anyone and was always looking behind him. It had been years since Neil had been able to let his guard down, but with Andrew here, maybe he finally could.

Andrew finally finished scrutinizing the café and looked back at Neil. "What?" he said. Neil jumped.

"What do you mean, 'what?' '' Neil asked. 

"You're smiling," Andrew pointed out, quirking an eyebrow. "Why?" Neil hadn't even realized. He cast his gaze down to his feet and shook his head, trying to come up with an explanation. Neil must have been delirious from running so much, because what he said next was the stupidest thing to come out of his mouth in a very, very long time. And he'd said _a lot_ of stupid things in his life.

"You," he said. Neil clapped his hand over his mouth, cringing. He wanted to look down at his feet again, but he had to see Andrew's reaction. He half expected Andrew to continue looking bored, but the man, apparently caught by surprise, smiled too. The smile was tiny, and it was gone in an instant, of course, replaced by Andrew's infamous and ever-present bored expression, but Neil had still seen it. Andrew flushed. He was obviously embarrassed by being caught so off-guard, and brushed past Neil to order their coffees. Neil was left staring out the window at the rising sun, now with a smile of his own plastered to his face.

It was hard for Neil to escape his thoughts sometimes. They could get so strong or so determined that even Neil running as fast as he could just _wasn't enough._ In fact, he could already feel them slipping their way back into his brain through the cracks in his defenses. They were going to come back, worse than before, and Neil wouldn't have any way to stop them. 

Except...

Neil turned around to look at Andrew, who was still ordering their drinks. Andrew didn't know the whole truth about Neil, that much was true. And maybe he never would. But he knew enough of it to count. Andrew knew enough of it that his understanding meant something, his silent support meant something. And for Neil, _that_ was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> hello, thanks if you read that!! i realize how boring it was that nothing really happened between them in this fic (sorry!), but at the same time I've always liked that Andrew is part of how Neil keeps his thoughts at bay.
> 
> any compliments and criticisms are always welcome, as I'm always looking to become a better writer! :')
> 
> thanks again!! <3 <3
> 
> — visit me on [tumblr!](mulletaylor.tumblr.com)


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